The Beggar’s Diary, 09.08.2007.- It's a rainy day. There are not many people walking the street, except for an army platoon (!) being toured around by a guide. In this weather, Filch heads towards the Spiekerhof. Because of the rain, he decides to put a sign saying he's off to the FYAL.
He's quite excited about the things he got yesterday from the audience during his performance at the Metropolis. He can’t wait to check his bag, and he thinks that a day such a this is the perfect day to make an inventory.
He takes his coffee, sits down, and starts unloading his stuff, but first he wants to write a sign asking not to be disturbed. Of course, right then a couple approaches him and asks if he's sculpture number 06, The Beggar. Yes. Although he invites them to sit down with him, appreciative of their being there especially for him, he cannot hide his impatience to be left alone, to count his money and inspect his merchandise.
They start talking, and he proudly shows them his pins: Danny Ocean and Filch.
"Why,” they ask, “would you put George Clooney on a pin?"
"It's not that Clooney guy," Filch says, "it's Danny Ocean."
He admires Danny's genius for larceny.
"Well,” says the man, who introduces himself as Ludwig, “why don't you rob a bank?"
At which point all three of them, Ludwig, Bianka and Filch, start conniving multiple robbery scenarios. Ludwig insists they must use his car, a VW Golf Variant, as the getaway car: "'cos there are so many of them!" But it only has 65 horsepower: too risky, they conclude. What about a SMart? You can drive it right into the bank and become known as "the SMart Robber". Filch likes the idea, but he doesn’t have a car yet. Business still has to grow. "Then we steal a SMart, and that completes circle." They laugh loudly, and then realize somebody might have heard them.
And certainly posting this conversation on an Internet blog might warn the cops.
But his fantasy knows no limits. What to steal? Ludwig studied theology in Muenster a long time ago, and he claims to know there is a treasure near St. Paul's Cathedral, one of Europe's most important church treasure chambers. Filch listens carefully. What if he declares himself to be a "sleeping priest" who suddenly wakes up—like all those sleeping terrorist cells all over Europe we’re constantly being warned about. He could study to be a priest (Ludwig confirms this as a very good idea, as there are almost no seminarians left), wait to get hold of the key of the chamber, and then run off with the treasure. Brilliant. Filch sees himself as the famous rock 'n roll priest of France, Guy Gilbert, who says "my church is the street". Filch wants to be like him.
The only problem, he realizes with dismay, is that it takes about 6 years to become one. And he only has until 30 September.
Ludwig and Bianka try to comfort him by saying he could become a saint after 30 September. He only needs to do one miracle. Ludwig wants to help: he could sit on a wheelchair and, in front of as big an audience as possible, touch The Beggar and start walking.
Filch smiles a little: "Can we do this in the museum?"
"By all means!" they assure him.
And they plan to meet again very soon.
In the afternoon, Filch imagines what he would look like as a saint.
He almost forgot. His new acquisitions! He takes all his stuff out of his shopping trolley and starts to make the inventory.
49 fliers of The Beggar's Opera
6 map collections (=3 different versions of the SPM07 city map)
1 linen bag with number 6 on it
9 pins: 7 Ocean's and 2 Filch’s
1 pair of sunglasses
1 umbrella
1 Novalis poem
7 balloons
1 cable for speaker
1 headphone for mobile phone
1 mobile phone
1 Dr. Carina Plath – tag
1 water bottle (he refills with tap water)
2 rolls of tape
1 cutter knife/exacto knife?
1 used bus ticket
1 blue felt pen
1 box of Paracetamol
1 iron handle (?)
1 Stabilo marker (green)
2 coffee cups with coins
4 printed out Internet posts rolled into the shape of a candy, made by Alina, of the blog entry 07.07.2007
2 FYAL postcards
1 SPMO7 map for personal use
1 black and white scarf to use for his stand
1 box of chalk
1 SPM07 pen
2 leaflets from a museum
1 pair of gloves (without fingertips)
6 Post-it blocks
1 newsletter SPM07
1 SPM07 sitting mat
4 2 Euro coins
4 1 Euro coins
1 50 cents coin
1 Post-it (with “12,50 Peter” written on it)
1 book: “Van Brecht tot Bernadetje”
11 A4 pictures of The Beggar
17 blank A4 sheet
1 cap
1 sign depicting a thermometer, meaning the money he still needs for his 90 Euro fine.
1 Draussen magazine
1 SPM07 magazine
2 cardboards saying "bicycle protection", "one story told 1 Euro" and on verso: "exchange umbrella"
1 candle
1 sun block factor 20
1 Eurocent
1 tag 06
and last but not least:
1 identity card from Elena*
1 piece of THREAD FROM MARK WALLINGER!**
*Yesterday, at The Beggar's Evening, a girl approached Filch to exchange his last cardboard drawing for anything he might want from her purse. Filch, without a second’s hesitation, asked for her identity card. In case he needs it, he will be Elena, who lives in Muenster! At long last, he has a home!
** Alina also attended the performance at the Metropolis Kino, and after the show she gave him a white, almost transparent thread (Filch checked it and it must be 3m60 long).
"This is from sculpture number one," she said.
"But sculpture number one is Mark Wallinger's Thread!!"
She explained she lives in a house where The Thread passes through (“So, you are one of the 192 lawyers,” thought Filch!)***; the thread was damaged and had to be repaired, and a piece fell on the ground. She picked it up because she knew Filch, "The One Who Loves The Thread", would love it. And here it is!
"This," thinks Filch, "this I will never, ever, sell. This is a relic, like a piece of the Shroud of Turin."
*** See http://beta.thebeggarsopera.org/node/61
Things-to-do for Filch:
Somebody gets paid by the city to blow a horn every half hour in the evening (he forgot where the blowing takes place). The Beggar must find out about this.
Every day, somebody takes away the signs he leaves at the Spiekerhof. The Beggar wants to know who and why.
Add new comment »
